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Dieses Thema hat 1 Antworten
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HeTill Offline

Admin, Inc.

Beiträge: 7.699

23.10.2002 11:48
Wichtige Regeln für Nu-Metal Bands Antworten

1. when asked about your main influence, say it's black sabbath. always
2.don't sound anything like black sabbath
3.make fun of britney spears and n'sync
4.when conducting interviews, say "fuck", "fag", and "shit as much as
5.only do interviews with: metal edge, revolver, alternative press, hit
parader, guitar world, kerrang and rolling stone 50$ for them to refer to you as a metal band. them 50$ to create a new genre name specifically for you (see evil
disco and spookycore)
8.make sure someone in your band is starting a side project every other
9.ask your mom to buy you 6 boxes of hair gel, you'll need it to look like
robb flynn
10.use the word "gay" for anything you don't like guitar solos
12.your bassist must be either....
13. ...female (and a kindergoth)
14. ...or use fieldy's slap and pop technique (and be very fat)
15.jump lots while playing guitar
16.use only "bass-snare-bass-snare" drum techniques
17.ask your audience to sing along....
18.....jump up and down...
19....put their hands in the air....
20.....flash their middle fingers.....
21....and not to hurt eachother (say "because were all brothers and
sisters" the liner notes thank your parents and 15 other bands (4 of which
sound just like yours, put in black sabbath to be cool)
23. make sure at least one member....
24...has been arrested.... an alcoholic.....
26...or smokes lots of weed
27.make sure your second album is weaker than the first one
28.deny anyone uses drugs in your band
29.say you hate limp bizkit, while defending primer 55, dope and taproot
30.when describing bands you like say "kicks ass"
31.when describing bands you hate, say "sucks ass"
32.lie about being abused in you lyrics
33. when that doesn't work, dedicate money to child abuse centres must be signed to sony records or their subsidiaries (see epic)
35.wear whatever rappers are wearing
36.say "shaznit"
37. say "tight as fuck"
38. pretend you hate mtv
39.ask fred durst for interview advise
40.wear huge pants that show your underwear
41.sing the praises of Korn need atleast one chick in your band (or, failing that an obese latino
guy will do) ozzfest
44.make sure your t-shirts have meaningless messages on them (see otep)
45.pretend you design your own website
46.ross robinson should produce your cd (failing that ask gggarth
47.delay your album releases twice
48.have atleast one guest track on all your albums.
49.always whine
50.close your eyes when singing to look depressed
51.LOTS of body piercings (see dez fafara) band member must be bald
53.or he can have a goatee (both if you can)
54.pretend you hate the world live shows dive into the crowd and crowdsurf (see sid wilson of
56.make sure your underwear is always showing
57.your drummer can't wear a shirt during live performance (he also needs a
square haircut)
58.bite the microphone
59.swing the microphone while headbanging
60.always suck up to the crowd during concerts
61.insert the word "fucking" into the middle of a word (see
62.only use zildjian cymbals
63.use only ibanez guitars (not that anyone cares)
64.always use seven string guitars (not that you use all of them)
65.use lots of stomp pedals and other distortion effects
66.wear face paint/masks. when someone calls you a slipknot clone say "we've
been doing the mask thing since 1977"
67.say your next album will be heavier than the last #67, but use the word "fucking" more often
69.make sure that the next album is actually softer than the last
70.use the word "fuck" in all your songs atleast 3 times each (see limp
bizkit's last "masterpiece"
71.pick fights with random bands (see fred durst, corey taylor and sully
72.if your copying someone else, don't use profanity, so that critics like
you (see linkin park)
73.when kids start calling you sellouts, tell them they'd do the same thing.
74.when kids call you copycats, say the other band is an influence OR....'s a coincidence (see adema)
76.make fun of gay people
77.when parents tell you to go to your room, go to your room a new album every year. whether the material is new or not is
completely inconsequential
79.get in fights with security all the time
80.wash your sneakers only 4 times a year
82.release a home video that just shows your band making asses of themselves
backstage (limp bizkit are masters of this)
83.during a live performance, make the crowd sing the chorus to your current
single (see POD)
84.make sure 90% of your fans are dumb twelve year olds who use your name on
the internet all the time (see slipknot666, limpbizkitrulzazz! and linkin
chick) the other 10% are actually smart people who take your music at face
85.your band name must be misspelled
86.refuse to accept the fact that kids are violent because of your music.
blame it on the parents.
87. when someone compares you with another band, say "I never heard of them"
88.cancel the first 5 dates (including the only canadian date) of every
north american tour you do.
89.claim that you really are angry in your music
90.insist your band is metal buy and hot topic are your best friends
92.say your gonna commit suicide when nobody listens to your music (this
also works for Deicide)
93.wear lots of black and white face paint and act evil (oh wait that's
black metal)
94.claim to be a fan of kittie, otep and coal chamber for their music when
in reality you just want to fuck one of the female members of said bands
95, deny that #94 is true. proceed to stomp your foot on the floor when
people say that to you!
96.your radio single must have clean vocals or at least melodic riffing (in
other words, don't be hatebreed)
97.write a profanity filled dirge about how you hate your critics (see limp
bizkit's "hot dog"
98.if you're new, cover an old 80's dance song (see disturbed, alien ant
orgy, dope)
99.participate in lots of compilations
100.NO GUITAR SOLOS!'re offended by all these rules.

- Henning

Metal ist nicht nur eine Musikrichtung. Metal ist eine musikalische Umsetzung einer Lebenseinstellung und einem Bündel an Gefühlen. Findet man sich nicht teilweise wieder, wenn man bestimmte Songs hört? Metal ist mehr als nur Musik.



Locutus Offline

Last Pagan

Beiträge: 3.643

23.10.2002 13:17
#2 RE:Wichtige Regeln für Nu-Metal Bands Antworten

sehr passend!

Aber sowas gibts ja wirklich für alles und jeden. Aber die "fuckin'" Sachen treffen größtenteils schon zu.
Der Black Sabbath Einfluß ist toll. Merkt man auch sehr.


Abandon all hope who enter here
For this is where all things are left behind
Every doubt and every cowardice must die
Souls of rage and anger whipping in despair

Moderator der Foren "Off Topic", "Community", "PC Allgemein", "Radio und TV", "Sites im Web", "Internes", "Bugs und Vorschläge"

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